Don't be defensive!

In all our lives, we will face criticism; sometimes it comes from those we love, and sometimes from people we barely know. Our natural reaction is to become defensive, to try to justify, but we must not, because that gives credence and power to that person. What I try to do is acknowledge, then put that person on the defensive. I do this by saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way. Do you mind if I ask you to tell me why?" The first sentence says you heard them, and the second asks them to explain.

When you do this, many people will back down immediately because they know they made a stupid statement. Depending on how offensive the remark is, you can either let them off the hook or you can dig in. If I sense that the person is trying to be a bully, then I dig in hard. However, most of the time, I'll let it go.

A commonly heard statement by artists is, "A five-year-old child could do that!" Now that's ignorant and offensive at the very least, but if you bristle, you've already lost. Instead, ask "Do you have a five-year-old child?" If they say yes, reply "Do you have any of their work with you?" Or, you might say, " That's interesting you say that, because that's not what my professors told me. What do you see that they didn't?" You've firmly put the ball back in their court.

By the way, you shouldn't ever put up with people who are being deliberately rude. I turn my back on them generally and make a point of ignoring them. They hate that because they are subconsciously looking for a fight, or at least a confrontation.

#artsales #motivation